Preparing for Divorce: A Comprehensive Guide to Navigating the Financial and Emotional Challenges

Divorce is a life-altering event that necessitates meticulous planning and preparation. The following guide is designed to help you navigate the financial, emotional, and practical aspects of divorce, ensuring you emerge from the process as strong and stable as possible.
1. Financial Preparation: A Reality Check

• Spreadsheet of Income and Bills: Create a detailed spreadsheet comparing your current income and expenses with what you anticipate post-divorce. This will serve as a crucial reality check and help you plan accordingly.
• Child Support and Spousal support: Recognize that collecting child support or spousal support can be challenging and is often less money than expected. Secure a stable full-time job and, if necessary, pursue further education to ensure you can support yourself and your children.
• Legal Fees: Ensure you have the resources to afford a competent attorney.

2. Organization and Documentation

• Financial Information Access: Make sure you have access to all financial documents, including tax records, bank statements, and account details. Make copies of everything (even just the envelopes if you are concerned about opening it). This will prevent any surprises and keep you informed about your financial standing.
• Debt Management: Pay off and close joint accounts where possible to protect both parties' credit ratings.
• Documentation: Gather essential financial documents such as tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs. Photocopy everything to avoid accusations of withholding information.

3. Emotional and Psychological Support

• Counseling: Engage in individual counseling. A therapist can help you process the emotional aspects of divorce and provide strategies for coping.
• Support System: Find someone you trust to confide in. Your attorney should focus on legal matters, not emotional support.

4. Practical Steps and Safety Measures

• Housing: If you plan to move out, start looking for a new place to live early on.
• Inventory and Personal Property: Inventory your personal belongings, especially items with sentimental value. Take photographs of everything for documentation purposes.
• Password Changes: Change passwords for all your online accounts, including email and cloud storage. Disable any shared tracking features like "Find My Phone."
• New Bank Accounts: Open individual bank accounts and consider getting a PO box for secure communication.
• Medical Needs: Ensure all medical needs are addressed, particularly if your insurance is through your spouse.
• Digital Security: Avoid using shared computers for sensitive communications or research related to the divorce.

5. Children’s Well-being

• Consistency for Children: Coordinate a schedule to maintain as much stability as possible for your children.  You may want to engage a coparenting counselor to help you and your spouse navigate telling the children and working out other parenting issues.
• Counseling for Children: Consider child-centered counseling to help your children adjust to the changes.
• Custody Considerations: Ensure all decisions are made with the children’s best interests in mind and avoid any illegal activities that could jeopardize custody arrangements.

6. Additional Precautions

• Legal Documents: Obtain a Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogate, naming someone other than your spouse as your agent.
• Closet and Space Organization: Declutter and organize your personal spaces. This can be therapeutic and helps you manage what you need to take with you.
• Budgeting: Create a budget that reflects your new financial reality.
• Pet Care: Update your pets’ medical records and ensure all their documents are in order.

7. Learning from Others

• Inspirational Stories: Gather stories from people who have successfully navigated divorce and rebuilt their lives. This can provide hope and practical insights.

Divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but with careful preparation and support, you can manage the transition effectively. Focus on securing your financial independence, maintaining emotional stability, and prioritizing your children’s well-being to navigate this life change successfully.
​​I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby. Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.