One of the most common questions that arises during a divorce is: What is spousal support, and how does it work? Spousal support, sometimes called alimony, is a court-ordered payment from one spouse to the other. Its purpose is to help balance financial disparities that may exist after a separation, ensuring both parties can maintain some level of financial stability while they transition to the next chapter of their lives.
Although every family’s situation is unique, California law recognizes two distinct types of spousal support: temporary and permanent. Each serves a different purpose, is calculated differently, and can have very different outcomes.
Temporary Spousal Support
Temporary spousal support is ordered while the divorce or legal separation is still pending. The goal is to preserve the financial “status quo” so neither party is left without resources while the case makes its way through the court system.
In practice, temporary support is generally determined by a guideline formula, often using specialized software that accounts for each party’s income, tax filing status, and certain deductions. Because the emphasis is on quick relief rather than long-term planning, courts rarely conduct an in-depth review of the many factors they will consider later when deciding permanent support.
For many families, temporary support provides breathing room. It ensures that the spouse who may not have been the primary wage earner can pay bills, cover housing costs, and maintain day-to-day stability while the legal process unfolds.
Permanent Spousal Support
Permanent spousal support, sometimes called “long-term” support, is ordered once the divorce is finalized. Unlike temporary support, it is not based on a formula. Instead, the court must weigh a wide range of factors outlined in California Family Code § 4320. These include:

• The length of the marriage
• Each spouse’s earning capacity and employability
• Contributions to the marriage, such as supporting a spouse’s education or career
• The age and health of each spouse
• The standard of living established during the marriage
• Any history of domestic violence
• Each party’s needs and ability to pay

Importantly, “permanent” support does not necessarily mean forever. For marriages of shorter duration (typically less than 10 years), courts often limit support to roughly half the length of the marriage. For marriages of longer duration, the court may not set an end date initially, but support can still be modified or terminated if circumstances change — for example, if the supported spouse becomes self-sufficient, remarries, or if the paying spouse retires.
Why the Distinction Matters
Understanding the difference between temporary and permanent support is critical when navigating divorce. Temporary support provides short-term stability, while permanent support requires a careful evaluation of each spouse’s long-term financial circumstances. Because the stakes are high — often involving significant sums of money and long-lasting obligations — these decisions can shape the financial future of both parties.
Final Thoughts
Spousal support is one of the most nuanced areas of family law. The courts are tasked with balancing fairness, need, and ability to pay, while also considering the unique history of each marriage.
If you are facing questions about spousal support, you don’t have to go through this alone. Our office understands how stressful and overwhelming these decisions can feel, and we are here to listen, guide, and support you through the process.
Please email our office today at [email protected] to schedule a consultation. Together, we can find a path forward that protects your interests and helps you move toward a more secure future.
​

If you’re scheduled for Family Court Mediation through Family Court Services (FCS) in Marin County, you’re likely wondering what to expect and how to best prepare—especially when your child’s future is at stake. The more informed and focused you are going into the session, the better chance you have of reaching a workable parenting plan.
This post covers what you need to know about preparing for mediation in child custody and visitation matters in Marin County.
 
Understanding Family Court Services Mediation in Marin County
When parents cannot agree on child custody or visitation, the Marin County Superior Court requires them to attend mediation with Family Court Services before their court hearing.
Unlike some California counties, Marin is a recommending county, which means:

• The mediation is not confidential.
• If the parents do not reach an agreement, the mediator will prepare a written recommendation to the judge regarding custody and visitation.
• If the parents do reach an agreement, that agreement is typically adopted by the court.

What Does the Mediator Do?
The mediator is a neutral, trained professional—usually with a background in mental health or social work—whose job is to help parents discuss custody and parenting time and try to reach an agreement. If no agreement is reached, the mediator's recommendation carries significant weight and is reviewed by the judge at the hearing.
 
How to Prepare for Mediation
1. Stay Focused on the Children

• The mediation is not about the past relationship or personal grievances.
• Always keep the focus on what is in the best interests of your child—their emotional well-being, stability, safety, and daily needs.

2. Be Honest and Respectful

• The mediator will be writing a report to the judge, so it’s important to be honest, respectful, and thoughtful in your communication.
• Avoid inflammatory language or making accusations without evidence.

3. Come with a Parenting Plan in Mind

• Think about what custody and visitation schedule works best for your child.
• Consider school schedules, extracurricular activities, holidays, and transitions between homes.
• Be prepared to explain why your proposed schedule supports your child’s best interests.

 
Helpful Things to Bring or Prepare

• A sample parenting schedule, including weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations
• Your work schedule and any child care arrangements
• Information about your child’s educational, medical, and emotional needs
• Notes about any safety concerns or past co-parenting challenges
• Ideas for communication tools (like OurFamilyWizard) if needed
• Check Local Rules, in Marin all documents must be submitted 2 business days in advance.

 
Tips for the Day of Mediation

• Be on time: Whether your session is in person or via Zoom, arrive early and prepared.
• Dress appropriately: This is a formal court process—even if done remotely.
• Take notes: You may want to write down key points discussed during the session.
• Do not bring your children: Children are not allowed in mediation sessions, but depending on your child’s age, the Mediator may ask to speak to your child after speaking with both parents.

 
After Mediation: What Happens Next?

• If you and the other parent reach an agreement, the mediator will prepare a written agreement and submit it to the court for the judge’s approval.
• If you do not reach an agreement, the mediator will submit a formal recommendation to the judge, which the court will review at your upcoming hearing.
• You or your attorney will have an opportunity to object to the recommendation or propose alternatives at the hearing.

 
Final Thoughts
Family Court Services mediation in Marin County is a key step in resolving custody and visitation issues. Because the mediator’s recommendation can heavily influence the judge’s decision, it’s critical to be prepared, child-focused, and respectful throughout the process.
If you have questions about the mediation process or want guidance to prepare effectively, I encourage you to reach out. With the right preparation and support, you can help protect your child’s well-being and move toward a stable, workable parenting arrangement.
 © Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby. Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

Filing for divorce is never a decision taken lightly. Whether you've been considering it for some time or find yourself facing the unexpected, knowing what to expect can help ease the uncertainty. At the Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby, we’ve guided thousands of clients through this deeply personal process with clarity, compassion, and over 30 years of family law experience—26 of those in Marin County.  If you’re thinking about divorce in California, here’s what you need to know:

1. Do You Meet California’s Residency Requirements? Before you can file for divorce in California, either you or your spouse must have:

• Lived in California for at least six months, and
• Lived in the county where you plan to file (for example, Marin County) for at least three months.

If you don’t yet meet these requirements, you may still be able to file for legal separation until you do.

2. California is a No-Fault Divorce State You don’t need to prove that either spouse did anything wrong. The most common legal ground is simply “irreconcilable differences”—which means the relationship has broken down beyond repair.

3. The Paperwork: Filing for Divorce To begin your case, you (the Petitioner) must file the following documents with the court:

• FL-100 – Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
• FL-110 – Summons
• FL-105 – Declaration Under UCCJEA (if you have children under 18)

These forms provide the court with essential information about your marriage, children, property, and what you’re asking the court to decide.
Once filed, there is a court filing fee, currently around $435. If you are unable to afford this, you may qualify for a fee waiver.

4. Serving the Divorce Papers California law requires that your spouse (the Respondent) be personally served with the filed documents. You cannot do this yourself, but a third party (over age 18 and not involved in the case) can serve the documents. We assist clients in coordinating service properly and efficiently.

5. The Response Period After being served, your spouse has 30 days to file a Response (FL-120). If they do not respond, the case may proceed by default. If they want to participate, we can have a default with agreement. If they do not want to participate you can still get divorced. If they do respond and there are disagreements over custody, property, or support, the case becomes contested—and we’ll work with you on strategy moving forward.

6. Exchanging Financial Information Both spouses are required to exchange Preliminary Declarations of Disclosure, which include:

• Income and expense reports
• Property and debt disclosures
• Supporting documents such as tax returns and pay stubs

These disclosures are essential to ensure a fair and transparent process, and are legally required before a divorce can be finalized.

7. Working Toward Resolution In many cases, we help our clients reach a marital settlement agreement through:

• Direct negotiation
• Mediation
• Collaborative divorce

When agreements cannot be reached, we are fully prepared to represent your interests in court. Kristine’s extensive litigation experience in Marin County ensures your case is in capable hands.

8. Finalizing the Divorce Even if everything is resolved quickly, California requires a minimum six-month waiting period from the date your spouse was served before the court can finalize your divorce. Once that period has passed and all paperwork is submitted, the court can issue your Judgment of Dissolution—and your divorce will be official.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Divorce is not just a legal process—it’s an emotional and often life-changing journey. At the Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby, we are committed to helping you move forward with confidence, clarity, and compassion.
If you're considering divorce or have questions about your options, we’re here to help. 📞 Contact us today to schedule a consultation.
Let’s talk about what’s next—and how we can support you through it.

© Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby. Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.  By Kristine Fowler Cirby, Esq.

Divorce is a life-altering event that necessitates meticulous planning and preparation. The following guide is designed to help you navigate the financial, emotional, and practical aspects of divorce, ensuring you emerge from the process as strong and stable as possible.
1. Financial Preparation: A Reality Check

• Spreadsheet of Income and Bills: Create a detailed spreadsheet comparing your current income and expenses with what you anticipate post-divorce. This will serve as a crucial reality check and help you plan accordingly.
• Child Support and Spousal support: Recognize that collecting child support or spousal support can be challenging and is often less money than expected. Secure a stable full-time job and, if necessary, pursue further education to ensure you can support yourself and your children.
• Legal Fees: Ensure you have the resources to afford a competent attorney.

2. Organization and Documentation

• Financial Information Access: Make sure you have access to all financial documents, including tax records, bank statements, and account details. Make copies of everything (even just the envelopes if you are concerned about opening it). This will prevent any surprises and keep you informed about your financial standing.
• Debt Management: Pay off and close joint accounts where possible to protect both parties' credit ratings.
• Documentation: Gather essential financial documents such as tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs. Photocopy everything to avoid accusations of withholding information.

3. Emotional and Psychological Support

• Counseling: Engage in individual counseling. A therapist can help you process the emotional aspects of divorce and provide strategies for coping.
• Support System: Find someone you trust to confide in. Your attorney should focus on legal matters, not emotional support.

4. Practical Steps and Safety Measures

• Housing: If you plan to move out, start looking for a new place to live early on.
• Inventory and Personal Property: Inventory your personal belongings, especially items with sentimental value. Take photographs of everything for documentation purposes.
• Password Changes: Change passwords for all your online accounts, including email and cloud storage. Disable any shared tracking features like "Find My Phone."
• New Bank Accounts: Open individual bank accounts and consider getting a PO box for secure communication.
• Medical Needs: Ensure all medical needs are addressed, particularly if your insurance is through your spouse.
• Digital Security: Avoid using shared computers for sensitive communications or research related to the divorce.

5. Children’s Well-being

• Consistency for Children: Coordinate a schedule to maintain as much stability as possible for your children.  You may want to engage a coparenting counselor to help you and your spouse navigate telling the children and working out other parenting issues.
• Counseling for Children: Consider child-centered counseling to help your children adjust to the changes.
• Custody Considerations: Ensure all decisions are made with the children’s best interests in mind and avoid any illegal activities that could jeopardize custody arrangements.

6. Additional Precautions

• Legal Documents: Obtain a Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogate, naming someone other than your spouse as your agent.
• Closet and Space Organization: Declutter and organize your personal spaces. This can be therapeutic and helps you manage what you need to take with you.
• Budgeting: Create a budget that reflects your new financial reality.
• Pet Care: Update your pets’ medical records and ensure all their documents are in order.

7. Learning from Others

• Inspirational Stories: Gather stories from people who have successfully navigated divorce and rebuilt their lives. This can provide hope and practical insights.

Divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but with careful preparation and support, you can manage the transition effectively. Focus on securing your financial independence, maintaining emotional stability, and prioritizing your children’s well-being to navigate this life change successfully.
​​I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby. Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

As a family law attorney in California, I often advise clients to consider a prenuptial agreement before getting married. Here are some reasons why:
1.                 Protect separate property: A prenup can define and protect assets that each spouse owns separately before the marriage, such as inheritance, gifts, or business interests. Without a prenup, these assets may become community property and subject to division in case of divorce.
2.                 Clarify financial expectations: A prenup can outline how the couple will handle finances during the marriage, such as income, expenses, debts, and savings. This can help prevent misunderstandings or conflicts later on, especially if one spouse earns significantly more or has different financial priorities.
3.                 Minimize legal costs: A prenup can streamline the divorce process by resolving some of the key issues in advance, such as property division, spousal support, or attorney's fees. This can save both time and money, as well as reduce emotional stress.
4.                 Protect family relationships: A prenup can also address non-financial matters that may affect the couple's relationship or their families, such as custody, visitation, relocation, or inheritance rights. By clarifying these issues beforehand, a prenup can help prevent future disputes or court battles.
Of course, a prenup is not for everyone, and it may not cover all possible scenarios or changes that may occur during the marriage. However, for those who have significant assets, liabilities, or concerns, a prenup can offer peace of mind and legal protection. If you are considering a prenup in California, I am happy to help you navigate the legal requirements and implications.
I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. ​

If you are considering filing for divorce in California, here are some important steps to take before starting the legal process:
1.                 Consult with a divorce attorney: A divorce can involve complex legal, financial, and emotional issues that require professional guidance. A divorce attorney can help you understand your rights, obligations, and options under California law, as well as provide you with practical advice on how to protect your interests and achieve your goals.
2.                 Gather financial documents: A divorce will require you to disclose your income, expenses, assets, and debts to your spouse and the court. To prepare for this, you should gather as much financial information as possible, including tax returns, bank statements, credit reports, retirement accounts, and property titles.
3.                 Consider your living arrangements: Depending on your situation, you may need to make temporary or permanent living arrangements before, during, and after the divorce. This may involve finding a new home, sharing custody of children, or negotiating a separation agreement with your spouse.
4.                 Plan for your children's well-being: If you have children, your divorce will affect their lives in many ways. You should consider their needs and preferences, as well as the legal standards for child custody, visitation, and support in California. You may also want to explore mediation or collaborative divorce options to minimize the impact of the divorce on your children.
5.                 Protect your privacy and security: A divorce can be a sensitive and stressful time, and you may want to take steps to protect your privacy and security. This may involve changing passwords, securing your social media accounts, and keeping confidential documents in a safe place.
Of course, every divorce is unique, and you may have additional or different concerns depending on your circumstances. However, by taking these steps and working with an experienced divorce attorney, you can better prepare yourself for the divorce process and increase your chances of a positive outcome.
  I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In California, child custody is determined based on what is in the best interests of the child.
There are two types of child custody in California: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody refers to the right to make important decisions about a child's upbringing, such as education, healthcare, and religion. Physical custody refers to where the child will live and who will be responsible for their day-to-day care.
California courts prefer to award joint custody whenever possible, meaning both parents share in the decision-making and physical custody of the child. However, if one parent is deemed unfit or unable to care for the child, the other parent may be awarded sole custody.
When making a decision about child custody, California courts consider a variety of factors, including the child's age, health, and welfare, the relationship between the child and each parent, and each parent's ability to provide for the child's physical and emotional needs.
If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have questions about child custody, it's important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can provide guidance and help protect your rights as a parent.
  I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. ​

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and are concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, supervised visitation may be an option.
Supervised visitation is when a court-ordered supervisor is present during visits between a child and their non-custodial parent. The supervisor can be a professional, such as a social worker, or a nonprofessional, such as a trusted family member or friend. The goal of supervised visitation is to ensure the safety and well-being of the child during visits. The court does not order supervised visitation lightly. There needs to be a compelling reason to do so.
California courts may order supervised visitation if there are concerns about the non-custodial parent's ability to provide a safe environment for the child, such as a history of abuse or neglect. Supervised visitation may also be ordered if there is a risk of parental abduction, substance abuse, or mental health issues that may affect the non-custodial parent's ability to care for the child.
If you're concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, it's important to discuss your concerns with an experienced family law attorney. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the process of seeking supervised visitation.
Remember, the safety and well-being of your child should always come first, and supervised visitation may be a helpful tool to ensure your child's safety during visits with the other parent.
My experience and knowledge can help you through the divorce case process. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.

 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

Coercive control is a type of domestic violence that can impact a divorce proceeding and/or can be grounds for a domestic violence restraining order. Coercive control refers to a pattern of behavior in which one person exerts power and control over another person in a relationship through various manipulative tactics. It is important to recognize the signs of coercive control to protect yourself or someone you know from an unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation. Recognizing coercive control in a relationship can be challenging, as it often involves subtle manipulation tactics that gradually erode a person's autonomy and independence. However, there are some common signs that can help you identify coercive control. Here are some indicators of coercive control:

1. Isolation: The abuser may try to isolate their partner from friends, family, and support networks, making them dependent on the abuser for social interaction and support.
2. Monitoring: The abuser may excessively monitor their partner's activities, such as constantly checking their phone, tracking their movements, or demanding detailed accounts of their whereabouts.
3. Manipulation and Gaslighting: Coercive control often involves manipulation tactics aimed at distorting the victim's perception of reality. The abuser may deny or downplay their abusive behavior, making the victim doubt their own memory, judgment, and sanity.
4. Threats and Intimidation: The abuser may use threats, intimidation, or emotional blackmail to control their partner's behavior. This can include threats of physical violence, harming loved ones, or damaging their reputation.
5. Financial Control: Coercive control may involve controlling the victim's finances, such as restricting access to money, forcing them to account for every penny spent, or forbidding them from working.
6. Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse is a common aspect of coercive control. This can include constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, belittling, or using guilt to manipulate the victim's emotions.
7. Micromanagement: The abuser may exert control over the victim's daily activities, making decisions for them without their input or consent. This can extend to trivial matters such as what to wear, eat, or how to spend their time.
8. Sexual Coercion: Coercive control may involve sexual coercion, where the abuser uses manipulation, guilt, threats, or force to pressure the victim into unwanted sexual activities.
9. Deterioration of self-esteem: Over time, the victim's self-esteem and self-worth may decline due to the constant criticism and devaluation by the abuser.
10. Fear and Anxiety: The victim may live in constant fear of their partner's reactions or retaliation, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. They may also exhibit signs of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It is important to remember that coercive control can be subtle and may not involve physical violence initially. If you suspect that you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, it is crucial to seek help and support from trusted friends, family, or professionals such as attorneys, counselors, therapists, or helpline services.
My experience and knowledge can help you through ta divorce and/or restraining order. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.

 COVID19 has impacted families across the country. Parents who are separated from their children are feeling isolated and may have had to cancel their Spring Break or other visits.  
For separated parents, the recommendation from experts is to maintain the regular visitation during the shelter in place. However, for parents unable to spend time with their children, it can be a difficult and trying time. These parents are limited to telephone contact. It is often difficult to have meaningful conversations with a child on the phone in the best of circumstances. COVID19 has not made it easier.
Even if separated parents do not communicate well or get along, now is the time to be flexible and communicative, especially if your children are younger.  If your order is limited to a 15-minute daily call, allow the call to be longer (If you are the parent sheltering in place with the child, this will also give you a respite).
I have compiled a list of activities to make your virtual time with your child more interesting and engaging. Hopefully these activities will keep you more connected with your child through this pandemic.
Play games: Many games can be played without being in the same room. Some ideas are Hangman, Tic-Tac-Toe, Pictionary, Charades, 20 Questions, or Battleship (you may want to send your child a gameboard). Using Zoom, you can share your screen on which you can draw (with the right type of laptop, iPad, etc.), or you can use paper and pen and simply hold it up to the camera.
Read a book together If your child is younger, read a book to them – change your voice, share the pictures in the book through the screen. You can also have your child read a book to you, encouraging him or her to show you the pictures, and to change their voice and make sounds. For chapter books, you can take turns reading a book together. You can check out e-books from your public library or find it for free online. If your child is older, you can each read the book “offline” and then discuss it as you read it. After reading each book discuss the story, moral, etc., you may learn something new about your child during the conversation.
Help with Homework Children are working from packets and assignments provided online. Help them with their homework over the phone/computer. Need to brush up on your math skills? Use online programs like Khan Academy to help you understand how to help your child. You can also use games like Hangman to practice their spelling words.
Watch TV together. “Netflix Party” and “Kast” synchronize video playback and adds group chat to your favorite shows and movies.
Write a story together. You can do so orally by starting with 5-6 words, and have your child continue the story with another 5-6 words. Then you continue the story with another 5-6 words and so on. You can also co-write a story together by sharing a Google Doc and each of you writing a paragraph every day, until you have a complete story. Who knows, you might write the next great novel together. Do Mad Libs together – or write your own Mad Libs. ​
Remember that each of these activities provides for quality time together with your child. These activities will engage them, and your virtual time together will be more meaningful. If both parents can be flexible and cooperative, your child will appreciate it.
​

Some couples mutually agree that they are no longer in love with one another and decide to separate. For others, it may shock and surprise one spouse when the other spouse broaches the subject. Addiction issues or domestic violence may result in other filings for divorce. California is a no-fault divorce state, so the reason for the divorce is irrelevant in the court’s eyes.
 If one party is considering divorce, or their spouse recently asked for a divorce, each party needs to understand the process. Every California divorce requires three stages. However, during each stage, there are many actions that can determine the outcome of a divorce case.
 In my 28 years of practice, I have witnessed many spouses who do not realize what is involved in getting divorced. In addition, spouses are often surprised by the amount of child and spousal support they would be entitled to receive. The amount of support to which a party may be entitled is often less than expected.
 
 The Summons and Petition
To initiate a divorce, one party must file a Petition for Dissolution, becoming the “Petitioner” throughout the case. This results in the Court opening a case. The other party, the “Respondent” must be served with the Petition.
 After the Petition has been filed and served, some parties may file a Request for Order (“RFO”) asking the court to make temporary orders regarding custody, visitation, child support, and/or spousal support. Typically, filing an RFO occurs when the parties are unable to reach an agreement on one or more issues and need the court to make the decision.
 
 The Declaration of Disclosure
In every divorce in California both parties must complete a Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure. This document includes 10 pages of forms and requires attachments from each party. The reason for this process is that each party has a fiduciary duty to disclose this information to the other.
 Each party must reveal all their income and expenses to the other. However, it is required even if the parties have no children and do not wish to receive spousal support from the other parent. This information is crucial for support. A party must identify their income from all sources, as well as their monthly household expenses. This form is also a good tool for determining a party’s post-separation financial needs.
 In addition, the parties must identify the assets and debts that are both parties’ responsibility (“community property”), as well as any separate assets and debts. The law requires that the parties provide statements for bank accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, car loans, etc.
 Once the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure is exchanged between the parties, they can begin negotiating the terms of their settlement to resolve the case in its entirety. This final document is referred to as the Judgment.
  
The Judgment
The Judgment is the final document that indicates the parties are divorced. The Judgment sets forth the final agreements the parties have on all issues in their divorce.  Neither party can be single until 6 months after the Petition was served on the Respondent. However, they can file a Judgment prior to the six months.
 The Judgment should resolve all these issues between the parties in one document:
 
Property Division: The parties need to divide their assets and debts. The Judgment sets forth how these items will be divided. This section will not only include furniture and furnishings but will also address retirement accounts, vehicles, artwork, stocks, real estate, as well as credit card debts, loans, etc.
 If the parties reach an agreement outside of court, they can be more creative than if the case went to trial. For example, the parties can agree that one parent, and the children, remain in the house for a period, before the parties sell it. If the case proceeded to trial, the court would most likely order the house sold immediately, and the proceeds divided.
 The court typically does not get involved in dividing the furniture and furnishings unless something is of value. In one case in which the parties were quite amicable, the parties marked post-it notes on household items they wanted. If there was an item which they both tagged, they purchased second one, and the person who used it more frequently received the newer item. It is rare to see people get along that well, but typically the parties can divide most household furnishings without much dispute.
 
Child Custody and Visitation: Again, parents working together can typically create a parenting plan that works best for their family. However, if parents are unable to agree, the court will determine the schedule that it believes to be in the children’s best interests. Some of the decisions to be made include: Legal custody (the ability to make decisions about health, education, religion), and physical custody (where the children should reside), the weekly timeshare plan (day-to-day schedule), as well as holidays and vacations. I have witnessed parents fighting over which town’s little league the child should pay in, or whether the child should attend Catechism or Hebrew school. Parents should sit down with the children’s school calendar once per year and map out the weekly and holiday schedules. This strategy will avoid the last-minute disputes around holidays.
 As children get older, or circumstances change, the custody and visitation orders can be modified.
Also, if one parent has addiction issues or there has been domestic violence, the court might place restrictions on that parent’s time. The court can order supervised visitation, random breathalyzers, or other check and balances to ensure the safety of the children.
 
Child Support: Child support is based on several factors, including but not limited to both parties’ respective incomes, and the percentage of time each parent spends with the child. The court and private attorneys use a computer program to calculate support. Much of the information for determining child support is included in the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure, so it is important to take care in completing that document.
 While one parent may have been the stay at home parent during the marriage, both parties have an obligation to support their children. Therefore, that stay-at-home parent might be imputed with income by the Court, which means if the parent is capable of earning $x/month, the court will include $x/month as that parent’s income in calculating the support. In addition to monthly support, the parents are often ordered to pay one-half of the uninsured medical costs, and one-half of employment-related childcare costs.
 For example, if the parties share 50/50 timeshare, Father earns $150,000 annually, while mother was a stay at home parent being imputed with minimum wage of $22,880 annually, Father will pay less than $1,000/month in child support to Mother.
 Child support is always modifiable when there has been a change in circumstances (new job, promotion, change in timeshare, etc.). Also, neither party can waive child support.
 
Spousal Support: There are two types of spousal support: temporary (while the case is pending) and permanent (after the Judgment has been entered). Each are treated very differently by the Court. Temporary spousal support is based on need and uses the same calculator that is used to determine child support. In my example above the Father would typically pay less than $1500/month in temporary spousal support.
 Permanent spousal support is based on sixteen factors set forth in Family Code Section 4320. The Court cannot use the computer program used for child support and temporary spousal support. Rather it must apply these factors to each individual set of facts. Often spousal support is for one-half the length of the marriage, depending on the circumstances. If it is a short-term marriage (less than 6 years) it could even be for a shorter period.
  
Would I Have a Trial?
First, family law trials in California are not heard by a jury, but only by the Judge. Also, over 95% of cases in Marin County Courts resolve without a trial on the above issues. Marin is lucky to have several settlement options before trial, that are not offered in other counties, if the parties are unable to resolve all matters between themselves. Trials are very costly, so important to have an attorney who knows the law, who has a clear understanding of the facts and evidence, and who understands their client’s financial limitations.
 If a case is ready for trial, the parties will first attend a Bench Bar Settlement Conference. At this conference, a panel of two experienced family law attorneys and a Judge Pro Tem (an experienced attorney who is appointed to serve temporarily as a judge) will spend all day discussing 2-3 different cases. Typically, these conferences do not resolve child custody and visitation or child support (the parties would need to file and RFO to obtain orders on those issues). The panel rotates through the cases in the morning, giving their opinions about the issues in each case. After they have spoken to all the cases, they check in with each case, providing additional advice, and helping to negotiate if there is a particularly troublesome issue.
 If the parties do not reach an agreement by 4:00 pm, they must appear in front of the Judge the following day. The Judge may offer a further settlement conference in front of him or her before setting the case for trial. If the parties still cannot settle, the Judge will set a trial date.
 While this process may overwhelm a layperson, a good, experienced attorney will feel comfortable with each stage of the divorce process. If the one party has an attorney, it’s vital that the other party hires an attorney, at least on a consulting basis.
 While I have not discussed every possible scenario during a divorce case, I addressed issues that I have frequently seen in family court. My experience and knowledge can help you through the divorce case process. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 
© Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.