Recognizing Coercive Control in Your Relationship

Coercive control is a type of domestic violence that can impact a divorce proceeding and/or can be grounds for a domestic violence restraining order. Coercive control refers to a pattern of behavior in which one person exerts power and control over another person in a relationship through various manipulative tactics. It is important to recognize the signs of coercive control to protect yourself or someone you know from an unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation. Recognizing coercive control in a relationship can be challenging, as it often involves subtle manipulation tactics that gradually erode a person's autonomy and independence. However, there are some common signs that can help you identify coercive control. Here are some indicators of coercive control:

1. Isolation: The abuser may try to isolate their partner from friends, family, and support networks, making them dependent on the abuser for social interaction and support.
2. Monitoring: The abuser may excessively monitor their partner's activities, such as constantly checking their phone, tracking their movements, or demanding detailed accounts of their whereabouts.
3. Manipulation and Gaslighting: Coercive control often involves manipulation tactics aimed at distorting the victim's perception of reality. The abuser may deny or downplay their abusive behavior, making the victim doubt their own memory, judgment, and sanity.
4. Threats and Intimidation: The abuser may use threats, intimidation, or emotional blackmail to control their partner's behavior. This can include threats of physical violence, harming loved ones, or damaging their reputation.
5. Financial Control: Coercive control may involve controlling the victim's finances, such as restricting access to money, forcing them to account for every penny spent, or forbidding them from working.
6. Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse is a common aspect of coercive control. This can include constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, belittling, or using guilt to manipulate the victim's emotions.
7. Micromanagement: The abuser may exert control over the victim's daily activities, making decisions for them without their input or consent. This can extend to trivial matters such as what to wear, eat, or how to spend their time.
8. Sexual Coercion: Coercive control may involve sexual coercion, where the abuser uses manipulation, guilt, threats, or force to pressure the victim into unwanted sexual activities.
9. Deterioration of self-esteem: Over time, the victim's self-esteem and self-worth may decline due to the constant criticism and devaluation by the abuser.
10. Fear and Anxiety: The victim may live in constant fear of their partner's reactions or retaliation, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. They may also exhibit signs of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It is important to remember that coercive control can be subtle and may not involve physical violence initially. If you suspect that you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, it is crucial to seek help and support from trusted friends, family, or professionals such as attorneys, counselors, therapists, or helpline services.
My experience and knowledge can help you through ta divorce and/or restraining order. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.