Divorce is a life-altering event that necessitates meticulous planning and preparation. The following guide is designed to help you navigate the financial, emotional, and practical aspects of divorce, ensuring you emerge from the process as strong and stable as possible.
1. Financial Preparation: A Reality Check

• Spreadsheet of Income and Bills: Create a detailed spreadsheet comparing your current income and expenses with what you anticipate post-divorce. This will serve as a crucial reality check and help you plan accordingly.
• Child Support and Spousal support: Recognize that collecting child support or spousal support can be challenging and is often less money than expected. Secure a stable full-time job and, if necessary, pursue further education to ensure you can support yourself and your children.
• Legal Fees: Ensure you have the resources to afford a competent attorney.

2. Organization and Documentation

• Financial Information Access: Make sure you have access to all financial documents, including tax records, bank statements, and account details. Make copies of everything (even just the envelopes if you are concerned about opening it). This will prevent any surprises and keep you informed about your financial standing.
• Debt Management: Pay off and close joint accounts where possible to protect both parties' credit ratings.
• Documentation: Gather essential financial documents such as tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs. Photocopy everything to avoid accusations of withholding information.

3. Emotional and Psychological Support

• Counseling: Engage in individual counseling. A therapist can help you process the emotional aspects of divorce and provide strategies for coping.
• Support System: Find someone you trust to confide in. Your attorney should focus on legal matters, not emotional support.

4. Practical Steps and Safety Measures

• Housing: If you plan to move out, start looking for a new place to live early on.
• Inventory and Personal Property: Inventory your personal belongings, especially items with sentimental value. Take photographs of everything for documentation purposes.
• Password Changes: Change passwords for all your online accounts, including email and cloud storage. Disable any shared tracking features like "Find My Phone."
• New Bank Accounts: Open individual bank accounts and consider getting a PO box for secure communication.
• Medical Needs: Ensure all medical needs are addressed, particularly if your insurance is through your spouse.
• Digital Security: Avoid using shared computers for sensitive communications or research related to the divorce.

5. Children’s Well-being

• Consistency for Children: Coordinate a schedule to maintain as much stability as possible for your children.  You may want to engage a coparenting counselor to help you and your spouse navigate telling the children and working out other parenting issues.
• Counseling for Children: Consider child-centered counseling to help your children adjust to the changes.
• Custody Considerations: Ensure all decisions are made with the children’s best interests in mind and avoid any illegal activities that could jeopardize custody arrangements.

6. Additional Precautions

• Legal Documents: Obtain a Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogate, naming someone other than your spouse as your agent.
• Closet and Space Organization: Declutter and organize your personal spaces. This can be therapeutic and helps you manage what you need to take with you.
• Budgeting: Create a budget that reflects your new financial reality.
• Pet Care: Update your pets’ medical records and ensure all their documents are in order.

7. Learning from Others

• Inspirational Stories: Gather stories from people who have successfully navigated divorce and rebuilt their lives. This can provide hope and practical insights.

Divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but with careful preparation and support, you can manage the transition effectively. Focus on securing your financial independence, maintaining emotional stability, and prioritizing your children’s well-being to navigate this life change successfully.
​​I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby. Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In California, child custody is determined based on what is in the best interests of the child.
There are two types of child custody in California: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody refers to the right to make important decisions about a child's upbringing, such as education, healthcare, and religion. Physical custody refers to where the child will live and who will be responsible for their day-to-day care.
California courts prefer to award joint custody whenever possible, meaning both parents share in the decision-making and physical custody of the child. However, if one parent is deemed unfit or unable to care for the child, the other parent may be awarded sole custody.
When making a decision about child custody, California courts consider a variety of factors, including the child's age, health, and welfare, the relationship between the child and each parent, and each parent's ability to provide for the child's physical and emotional needs.
If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have questions about child custody, it's important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can provide guidance and help protect your rights as a parent.
  I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. ​

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and are concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, supervised visitation may be an option.
Supervised visitation is when a court-ordered supervisor is present during visits between a child and their non-custodial parent. The supervisor can be a professional, such as a social worker, or a nonprofessional, such as a trusted family member or friend. The goal of supervised visitation is to ensure the safety and well-being of the child during visits. The court does not order supervised visitation lightly. There needs to be a compelling reason to do so.
California courts may order supervised visitation if there are concerns about the non-custodial parent's ability to provide a safe environment for the child, such as a history of abuse or neglect. Supervised visitation may also be ordered if there is a risk of parental abduction, substance abuse, or mental health issues that may affect the non-custodial parent's ability to care for the child.
If you're concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, it's important to discuss your concerns with an experienced family law attorney. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the process of seeking supervised visitation.
Remember, the safety and well-being of your child should always come first, and supervised visitation may be a helpful tool to ensure your child's safety during visits with the other parent.
My experience and knowledge can help you through the divorce case process. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.

 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

 COVID19 has impacted families across the country. Parents who are separated from their children are feeling isolated and may have had to cancel their Spring Break or other visits.  
For separated parents, the recommendation from experts is to maintain the regular visitation during the shelter in place. However, for parents unable to spend time with their children, it can be a difficult and trying time. These parents are limited to telephone contact. It is often difficult to have meaningful conversations with a child on the phone in the best of circumstances. COVID19 has not made it easier.
Even if separated parents do not communicate well or get along, now is the time to be flexible and communicative, especially if your children are younger.  If your order is limited to a 15-minute daily call, allow the call to be longer (If you are the parent sheltering in place with the child, this will also give you a respite).
I have compiled a list of activities to make your virtual time with your child more interesting and engaging. Hopefully these activities will keep you more connected with your child through this pandemic.
Play games: Many games can be played without being in the same room. Some ideas are Hangman, Tic-Tac-Toe, Pictionary, Charades, 20 Questions, or Battleship (you may want to send your child a gameboard). Using Zoom, you can share your screen on which you can draw (with the right type of laptop, iPad, etc.), or you can use paper and pen and simply hold it up to the camera.
Read a book together If your child is younger, read a book to them – change your voice, share the pictures in the book through the screen. You can also have your child read a book to you, encouraging him or her to show you the pictures, and to change their voice and make sounds. For chapter books, you can take turns reading a book together. You can check out e-books from your public library or find it for free online. If your child is older, you can each read the book “offline” and then discuss it as you read it. After reading each book discuss the story, moral, etc., you may learn something new about your child during the conversation.
Help with Homework Children are working from packets and assignments provided online. Help them with their homework over the phone/computer. Need to brush up on your math skills? Use online programs like Khan Academy to help you understand how to help your child. You can also use games like Hangman to practice their spelling words.
Watch TV together. “Netflix Party” and “Kast” synchronize video playback and adds group chat to your favorite shows and movies.
Write a story together. You can do so orally by starting with 5-6 words, and have your child continue the story with another 5-6 words. Then you continue the story with another 5-6 words and so on. You can also co-write a story together by sharing a Google Doc and each of you writing a paragraph every day, until you have a complete story. Who knows, you might write the next great novel together. Do Mad Libs together – or write your own Mad Libs. ​
Remember that each of these activities provides for quality time together with your child. These activities will engage them, and your virtual time together will be more meaningful. If both parents can be flexible and cooperative, your child will appreciate it.
​