If you are considering filing for divorce in California, here are some important steps to take before starting the legal process:
1.                 Consult with a divorce attorney: A divorce can involve complex legal, financial, and emotional issues that require professional guidance. A divorce attorney can help you understand your rights, obligations, and options under California law, as well as provide you with practical advice on how to protect your interests and achieve your goals.
2.                 Gather financial documents: A divorce will require you to disclose your income, expenses, assets, and debts to your spouse and the court. To prepare for this, you should gather as much financial information as possible, including tax returns, bank statements, credit reports, retirement accounts, and property titles.
3.                 Consider your living arrangements: Depending on your situation, you may need to make temporary or permanent living arrangements before, during, and after the divorce. This may involve finding a new home, sharing custody of children, or negotiating a separation agreement with your spouse.
4.                 Plan for your children's well-being: If you have children, your divorce will affect their lives in many ways. You should consider their needs and preferences, as well as the legal standards for child custody, visitation, and support in California. You may also want to explore mediation or collaborative divorce options to minimize the impact of the divorce on your children.
5.                 Protect your privacy and security: A divorce can be a sensitive and stressful time, and you may want to take steps to protect your privacy and security. This may involve changing passwords, securing your social media accounts, and keeping confidential documents in a safe place.
Of course, every divorce is unique, and you may have additional or different concerns depending on your circumstances. However, by taking these steps and working with an experienced divorce attorney, you can better prepare yourself for the divorce process and increase your chances of a positive outcome.
  I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Office of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In California, child custody is determined based on what is in the best interests of the child.
There are two types of child custody in California: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody refers to the right to make important decisions about a child's upbringing, such as education, healthcare, and religion. Physical custody refers to where the child will live and who will be responsible for their day-to-day care.
California courts prefer to award joint custody whenever possible, meaning both parents share in the decision-making and physical custody of the child. However, if one parent is deemed unfit or unable to care for the child, the other parent may be awarded sole custody.
When making a decision about child custody, California courts consider a variety of factors, including the child's age, health, and welfare, the relationship between the child and each parent, and each parent's ability to provide for the child's physical and emotional needs.
If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and have questions about child custody, it's important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can provide guidance and help protect your rights as a parent.
  I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. ​

If you're going through a divorce or legal separation in California and are concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, supervised visitation may be an option.
Supervised visitation is when a court-ordered supervisor is present during visits between a child and their non-custodial parent. The supervisor can be a professional, such as a social worker, or a nonprofessional, such as a trusted family member or friend. The goal of supervised visitation is to ensure the safety and well-being of the child during visits. The court does not order supervised visitation lightly. There needs to be a compelling reason to do so.
California courts may order supervised visitation if there are concerns about the non-custodial parent's ability to provide a safe environment for the child, such as a history of abuse or neglect. Supervised visitation may also be ordered if there is a risk of parental abduction, substance abuse, or mental health issues that may affect the non-custodial parent's ability to care for the child.
If you're concerned about the safety of your child during visits with the other parent, it's important to discuss your concerns with an experienced family law attorney. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the process of seeking supervised visitation.
Remember, the safety and well-being of your child should always come first, and supervised visitation may be a helpful tool to ensure your child's safety during visits with the other parent.
My experience and knowledge can help you through the divorce case process. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.

 © Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code. 

Coercive control is a type of domestic violence that can impact a divorce proceeding and/or can be grounds for a domestic violence restraining order. Coercive control refers to a pattern of behavior in which one person exerts power and control over another person in a relationship through various manipulative tactics. It is important to recognize the signs of coercive control to protect yourself or someone you know from an unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation. Recognizing coercive control in a relationship can be challenging, as it often involves subtle manipulation tactics that gradually erode a person's autonomy and independence. However, there are some common signs that can help you identify coercive control. Here are some indicators of coercive control:

1. Isolation: The abuser may try to isolate their partner from friends, family, and support networks, making them dependent on the abuser for social interaction and support.
2. Monitoring: The abuser may excessively monitor their partner's activities, such as constantly checking their phone, tracking their movements, or demanding detailed accounts of their whereabouts.
3. Manipulation and Gaslighting: Coercive control often involves manipulation tactics aimed at distorting the victim's perception of reality. The abuser may deny or downplay their abusive behavior, making the victim doubt their own memory, judgment, and sanity.
4. Threats and Intimidation: The abuser may use threats, intimidation, or emotional blackmail to control their partner's behavior. This can include threats of physical violence, harming loved ones, or damaging their reputation.
5. Financial Control: Coercive control may involve controlling the victim's finances, such as restricting access to money, forcing them to account for every penny spent, or forbidding them from working.
6. Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse is a common aspect of coercive control. This can include constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, belittling, or using guilt to manipulate the victim's emotions.
7. Micromanagement: The abuser may exert control over the victim's daily activities, making decisions for them without their input or consent. This can extend to trivial matters such as what to wear, eat, or how to spend their time.
8. Sexual Coercion: Coercive control may involve sexual coercion, where the abuser uses manipulation, guilt, threats, or force to pressure the victim into unwanted sexual activities.
9. Deterioration of self-esteem: Over time, the victim's self-esteem and self-worth may decline due to the constant criticism and devaluation by the abuser.
10. Fear and Anxiety: The victim may live in constant fear of their partner's reactions or retaliation, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. They may also exhibit signs of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It is important to remember that coercive control can be subtle and may not involve physical violence initially. If you suspect that you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, it is crucial to seek help and support from trusted friends, family, or professionals such as attorneys, counselors, therapists, or helpline services.
My experience and knowledge can help you through ta divorce and/or restraining order. I advise my client based on the facts and the law, with a discussion of the cost benefit analysis. Call today to schedule a consultation with my office.
© Law Offices of Kristine Fowler Cirby Any information you obtain from this article is not legal advice. Legal counsel should be sought for the answers to specific legal questions. This communication is an advertisement as defined by The Rules of Professional Conduct and California Business and Professions Code.

 COVID19 has impacted families across the country. Parents who are separated from their children are feeling isolated and may have had to cancel their Spring Break or other visits.  
For separated parents, the recommendation from experts is to maintain the regular visitation during the shelter in place. However, for parents unable to spend time with their children, it can be a difficult and trying time. These parents are limited to telephone contact. It is often difficult to have meaningful conversations with a child on the phone in the best of circumstances. COVID19 has not made it easier.
Even if separated parents do not communicate well or get along, now is the time to be flexible and communicative, especially if your children are younger.  If your order is limited to a 15-minute daily call, allow the call to be longer (If you are the parent sheltering in place with the child, this will also give you a respite).
I have compiled a list of activities to make your virtual time with your child more interesting and engaging. Hopefully these activities will keep you more connected with your child through this pandemic.
Play games: Many games can be played without being in the same room. Some ideas are Hangman, Tic-Tac-Toe, Pictionary, Charades, 20 Questions, or Battleship (you may want to send your child a gameboard). Using Zoom, you can share your screen on which you can draw (with the right type of laptop, iPad, etc.), or you can use paper and pen and simply hold it up to the camera.
Read a book together If your child is younger, read a book to them – change your voice, share the pictures in the book through the screen. You can also have your child read a book to you, encouraging him or her to show you the pictures, and to change their voice and make sounds. For chapter books, you can take turns reading a book together. You can check out e-books from your public library or find it for free online. If your child is older, you can each read the book “offline” and then discuss it as you read it. After reading each book discuss the story, moral, etc., you may learn something new about your child during the conversation.
Help with Homework Children are working from packets and assignments provided online. Help them with their homework over the phone/computer. Need to brush up on your math skills? Use online programs like Khan Academy to help you understand how to help your child. You can also use games like Hangman to practice their spelling words.
Watch TV together. “Netflix Party” and “Kast” synchronize video playback and adds group chat to your favorite shows and movies.
Write a story together. You can do so orally by starting with 5-6 words, and have your child continue the story with another 5-6 words. Then you continue the story with another 5-6 words and so on. You can also co-write a story together by sharing a Google Doc and each of you writing a paragraph every day, until you have a complete story. Who knows, you might write the next great novel together. Do Mad Libs together – or write your own Mad Libs. ​
Remember that each of these activities provides for quality time together with your child. These activities will engage them, and your virtual time together will be more meaningful. If both parents can be flexible and cooperative, your child will appreciate it.
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